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Unfortunately there are people out there that are so insecure in themselves that in order to feel better about themselves or to look “cool” in front of other insecure people, they need to feed off the power of others, draining that person of the ability to defend themselves – how sad for them.
But I don’t consider teasing, or any other form of bullying, ‘normal’ or acceptable in any sense whatsoever. In fact, it confused and astounded me why society and/or the schools allowed children to feed off weaker children and torment them, yet when it was brought to the attention of the supervising adults, they simply dismissed the actions, putting it down to ’normal kids stuff’. Well I’m sorry, but I found this offensive and was simply not good enough.
Society seems to be quite happy to pass the batton back to the individual being bullied, saying they need to find more ways to become assertive, but unfortunately, being assertive to a bully and their posse is a very hard thing for a child, standing alone, to achieve – it’s difficult enough even for an adult! And it’s often easier for us as an adult to walk away from people who make us feel bad – but a child can’t leave the school room or the school environment, and nor can they walk away from adults who may be treating them badly.
I believe that all individuals have the right to be themselves and keep their power, and so I always reminded my children that it was not appropriate for anyone to drain them of their power, but I also stressed that it was not the right thing for them to drain anyone else of their power either.
So I researched what bullying was, what affects can take place, and developed ways that parents can build their child up over time – once again, I found that this wasn’t part of an instant fix program – it has to do with developing the individual’s self-esteem, but found that with the right support, your child will learn how to become strong, and how to take back their control.
It was also interesting to learn that until an adult looks at bullying through the eyes of a child, instead of teaching them from an adults perspective, they cannot implement strategies that the child can actually use, and so I try to help with this. I also found that it helps to document your needs and areas of difficulty so that you can keep your emotions out of the equation, and so I have included things to help with this as well.
Like I have repeatedly said before, once your emotions take over, you have lost the battle against bullying, and in effective communication in general, so “Free To Be Me” includes the tools that our family used to combat bullying, and that other parents can use too, to help their children, and perhaps even themselves, move through bullying with more grace and power.
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